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Tuesday, 21 June 2022

[New post] Sine Ratione

Site logo image Jesse Killpack posted: " It's been a decade but I'm really the sameNo memories fade, I'm still without fameI've made more mistakes for which I'm ashamedI have lessons to learn and desires to tameI used to distance myself but now I feel lameNo longer a kid so I quit playing games" Investigatio Sapientiae

Sine Ratione

Jesse Killpack

Jun 21

It's been a decade but I'm really the same
No memories fade, I'm still without fame
I've made more mistakes for which I'm ashamed
I have lessons to learn and desires to tame
I used to distance myself but now I feel lame
No longer a kid so I quit playing games
If you don't want to love me, you don't have to stay
It's always been real with me that's all I can say
When people need help from me, I'll go out my way
Only as families can we all be saved
To find some real truth I dug into caves
For certain questions I had to be brave
For certain answers might leave you dismayed
Few ancestral paths were perfectly paved
I can't spell it out now time is too short
Whene'er they ask you about my report
Come up with some funny, clever retort
How I'm on some mission, I'll never abort
It's about making a name for one's self
To someday collect dust on the shelf
Somewhere 'tween Caesar and Buddy the Elf
Comfort and fear the way that I've felt
Blessed and cursed with the cards that I've been dealt
Chocolate and hearts are both things that can melt
Though only one can be easily bought
The other can change worlds with but a thought
So what kinds of things have you really sought?
That you have peace or that other's do not
'Cause I find it kind of depressing
The way no one expects me
To go off into next week
Reaching after that next peak
I just want that success please
I need that girl to text me
Not trying to hate, but I think that your ex weak
Take a chance and accept me
This right here is a blessing
You can trust me no stressing
I cannot fail, just test me
Do you feel that dichotomy?
Please be honest don't lie to me
Happiness and sadness are just the same emotion recycling
The one I feel is the one I put right on the side of me
And if I feed it I'm responsible for the progeny
Recognition: the first step, Be proud of me
Ignition: the first step, Come home to me
You know me heart, now you're on to me
Trying to make order out of chaos, some Taxonomy
Controlling what we can't, that's wrong to me
Predicting the future with limited astronomy
Waiting on the perfect song to be
If it's like you I'm already sold
Let pull a classic and borrow a lil' something
"And why that girl I really love won't accept my lovin'?
I'm grown and I still don't know
Summertime but it feels cold
Sun's out and it's shinin' low
I'm just tryna make it through the day
Ain't thinkin' 'bout tomorrow"
Breezy season is back with new ammo
Try as you might you can't beat what's been said
By those who predict whats in your head
Words once released never really belong to you
You steal them too, feel through them too strong do you?
Don't mean to sound like Yoda
But my brains off on that soda
Feeling bubbly like boba
Never gone like I told ya
Never loud like I scold ya
Never bent like I fold ya
Never scared like I'm bold yuh
Girls don't like men that treat them like we need 'em
But guys like me we're a dying breed, gotta feed 'em
That's why I'm in Selena's DMs
Spending all my time like it's the PM
Angels and Demons around but I can't see 'em
If they'd listen bet I could free 'em
Too many opportunities to not sieze 'em
If there's room in your life I'd like to squeeze in
A yearly thing, not one season
The world watches but you don't have to please 'em
So don't cut me off sort of preemptively
Or hold your trust back too apprehensively
'Cause I will take care of you defensively
Not that you need it excessively
Saying those in your past were kinda mean
Just under average for your side it seems
So please don't hold back in spite of me
Take a pitch then come back outside and swing
I'm pretty based, while tryna' dream
Holding onto a smile that's rare and precious like China, glee
What else really matters when your heart no longer shatters
All mixed up like some waffle batters
No tea party for these mad hatters
I can't connect to these dots losing the flow
Perhaps it's better if I just head back home
Take a rest, put down the phone
Missing your Warm Embrace
A vacuous remedy inside my space
'Cause I don't need to think hard to recall that face
Feeling like I gotta go Johnny to win this case
So dial the number and hit me up
I'm fully aware that I am enough
How do we wrap up life with all this stuff
No rhyme or reason, Director yell cut!
Tell the homies we out here runnin it up

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