[New post] The Maintenance of a Great Life #1: Relationships
kingmarine posted: " What does it mean to have a great life? It seems most people see the pictures and videos of social media influencers and believe that's real life. However, most people don't know how to obtain and, more importantly, maintain a wonderfully fulfilling l" Military Family Investing
As a maintainer in the Marine Corps for 20+ years, I know this to be true. But, it also applies in everyday life. There are many days of work, stress, and arguments for every fun family vacation.
We can't have a great life if we are unwilling to maintain it. In this series, I want to review ways to ensure we can maintain our extraordinary lives. This series will serve as a behind-the-scenes of sorts.
Let's start with relationships. The most significant part of our lives is our relationships. These interactions happen between spouses, parents, children, and friends.
The most challenging part of maintaining a healthy lifestyle is having solid, committed, and balanced relationships. However, the most fulfilling part of life is upholding these relationships, making them our top priority.
Going against the grain. Today's society wants to value individualism above all else. But what's so great about being independent?
To seek a relationship is actually going against the grain of our brainwashing. I read a good relationship book titled "Find Your People."
If you are struggling to find someone, it may be useful. Yes, the dating market sucks, but that doesn't mean we can't improve ourselves. The book "How to Not Die Alone" is an excellent place to start your journey.
Maintaining relationships. You will have many people in your lives, and most won't survive for the distance. As you read, grow, and improve, many will find you annoying or become jealous. You'll lose a lot of friends.
Let's review ways to stay close to the people we care about the most. If they choose to remove themselves from our lives, we cannot help this scenario.
Spouses. We will spend the most time with our spouses. I have been married for 16 years, and our marriage gets better each year. However, you must understand that growth is vital to marriage.
The person you marry will change many times during marriage. And, you will also change along the way. Prepare for this change by reading books and having deep conversations. It's easier to have them before the changes, trust me.
Another great book to read is "His Needs, Her Needs." I haven't reviewed this book yet, but the review is coming soon.
Children. Do you believe that your job as a parent ends when your kids turn 18? I hope not. In today's society, I think the role of a parent is even more vital as the children age into their 40s and 50s.
People used to function inside of a tribe. Two people (parents) didn't have to know everything or accomplish all tasks—we were a team of like-minded people.
Today, both parents work, raise kids, serve as coaches and teachers, and prepare finances. It is nearly impossible for two parents to survive, let alone thrive, under these conditions.
You can set yourself up by avoiding materialism. The book "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up" is an inside look at how the Japanese can live a minimalist lifestyle.
By changing your lifestyle first, you'll attract friends who follow the same core values as you. You'll never get past the value system if you two are inherently different.
You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with—so choose wisely. Maintaining a good friendship means keeping things in balance.
If you spend 80% of the time talking about yourself (or vice versa), the universe will get out of whack. Ensure you are a good listener, don't give too much advice, and don't take on too many of their problems.
Parents. Don't hold a grudge against your parents. I believe most did their best with the advice they had at the time.
I know I need to try to improve my relationship with my parents. As I study finances and how the rich become (and stay) rich, I understand it comes down to the parents' choices.
However, we are here now because of our parents. They love us in their way, and we should honor them by first being great humans and second by ensuring they are comfortable in life.
Conclusion. "Change" is the word of the day. Everyone around you will change, along with yourself. You'll need to understand this fact to maintain a healthy relationship with them.
Don't try to keep someone in your favorite version of themselves. You wouldn't want them to do this to you.
Instead, appreciate everything they bring to the table. Over a 20-40 year relationship, your friends will have hard times, as will you. Help get them back in the fight by being supportive.
However, ensure you are not over-supporting because you'll "enable" them to whine, cry, and build a victim mentality. You must walk the fine line between support and encouragement—it's tough.
Never forget that relationships are the number one reason we are alive. If you put people second, you'll never achieve the things you truly desire in life.
If you envision your dream life alone on an island, you may have to reconsider something. I want a blessed life with my parents, spouse, kids, and grandkids playing on white sand beaches. That's my rich life? What is yours? Good Luck!
Disclosure: I am not a financial advisor or money manager, and any knowledge is given as guidance and not direct actionable investment advice. I am an Amazon Affiliate. Please research any investment vehicles that are being considered. I wrote this article myself, and it expresses my own opinions. I am not receiving compensation for it. I have no business relationship with any company whose stock is mentioned in this article. All Right Reserved Military Family Investing
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